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Teresia Dulaney

Train up a child

Tonight my heart is so full I don’t even know where to begin. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. Over the years I have listened to many interpretations of the meaning of this scripture. Reading it as is one might think that it is a promise from God that if we raise our children according to God’s word that they will not turn away from the faith. Wouldn’t it be nice if that were true. However, I know many parents who have raised their children in church and a Godly household only to have their children turn away from their faith and all their parent’s teachings. To a Christian parent this is so heartbreaking. I do believe that as parents we do have a big impact on which direction and path our children take. However, we must remember that if this Proverb was a guarantee, then we would not have the free will that God has given us. Children do have a “Free Will” and the ability to choose and that is the difficult truth that every parent must face. Maybe you have raised your child in a Godly home and church according to God’s Word only to find that they have fallen away from the faith and turned their back on God. Perhaps your story is that your child walked away from the faith and all your teachings only to turn back later in life. If so, I am sure that your interpretation of this scripture could be influenced by your own story and experiences. Regardless of what that is, let me encourage you to not grow weary in the doing what God has commanded you to do. It doesn’t matter what stage of life your child is in, we parents have an opportunity to direct their path toward God. Whether it is when they are small and you have more control over their lives or when they are older and we have to step back and encourage and live by example. You still are able to influence their decisions. The bottom line is that we have to continue to pray for them and allow God to work. We can’t save them, only He can!

So why did I chase this rabbit tonight? God is so faithful! Tonight he reminded me that all we do to teach Tommy about God is not in vain. We must continue, even though he will soon be 30 years old, to do what God has called us to do in teaching and raising him. Yes, he is a grown man and we could say, “it is what it is” and stop teaching him as much as when he was younger. But God is not finished with him or us for that matter. Every year our church has had a Seder service. If you don’t know what that is, it is a service that is meant to teach the younger generations about the Passover so that no one forgets how God brought the Israelites out of bondage from Egpyt. Anyway, we have often asked the question, where will Tommy spend eternity if he is not mentally capable to make the choice in his heart to follow Jesus or not? A legitimate and concerning question for any Christian parent in our position. We can all have our beliefs on this matter, but regardless, we don’t really know for sure. Here’s what I do know and what God reminded me of tonight. As parents, we can’t stop praying, teaching and guiding our children “in the way they should go” because we never know how much or what they are actually learning and comprehending. Even in Tommy’s situation, God is using him and growing him. We have raised our boys in the church faithfully. We have tried to live by example in a Godly home. Does that mean we have been perfect parents and done all the right things? Of course not. We try to show him and teach him about God, never knowing if he understands and can apply it to his life. It’s like a Special Ed teacher, you work hard day in and day out with students and never see any results and you wonder is it ever going to click and then one day the light comes on over the simplest little thing and you just want to get up shout and scream and do the “happy dance’! That is exactly how I felt tonight as I stood in amazement at God’s work in Tommy. Tommy has never acted out a skit or play before, but tonight I watched as he played the part of one of the criminals hung on the cross next to Jesus. His own interpretation of anger and anguish on his face and standing there still as he hung on the cross were priceless! All this while his dad sang “Watch the Lamb”. This was the song that they acted out as he sang. The only part Tommy has ever had in this Seder service has been to open the door to let Elijah come in. I have always thought that he did it without understanding. In the first couple of years I’m sure he didn’t. But a couple of weeks ago, he started reminding me about the upcoming Passover service. He actually told me that he was going to open the door for Elijah. Do you have any idea how BIG that is? This momma’s heart and cup is running over with joy! So parents and grandparents alike, I know this has been a long post, but let me encourage you not to grow weary or faint in doing God’s work. It is not in vain! We must continue to teach, train, set the example because we have no idea what they are comprehending or picking up. It may take them longer to get there, it may show up at a later time or it could just save their life one day. We don’t ever know and we may never see the fruits of our labor but we must be consistent and press on toward the mark!



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